Smiling automatically into her small, heart-shaped face, Damon replied, without thinking, ‘I love you, too.’ But he hadn’t loved her. Not really, or at least, not nearly enough to bind himself to her for the rest of his life. He’d known it and apparently, she’d known it—even before he had. Every now and then, he’d hear his mother’s voice in his head, questioning him, asking if he really loved Beth. If he really wanted to marry her. For a long time, he’d have mental arguments with his mother, set out to prove her wrong. Prove that he was committed to Beth and the life they were going to have together. Eventually, though, his mother’s voice was replaced with his own. Questioning. Second-guessing. Regretting. Twenty months into their engagement, he’d finally broken down and told Beth that he needed some time to think. He’d echoed her words but, unlike his reticent calm when she’d said them, Beth began to cry. ‘What does this mean? Is the engagement over?’ ‘I don’t know,’ he said.. "Excuse me..." It was Alex! "You're not from around hereare you?"I nervously replied in the negative. He offered to buy me aglass of champagne - astute at least, I thought. We chattedand when he confessed that he too was a crossdresser Iconsoled him with the fact that I already knew. He saidthat I was one of the most attractive he had met, andstated that my dancing was certainly the sexiest. We dancedfor a while and he invited me back to his place. Iexplained my previous arrangement and within a minute hehad spoken to me new girlfriends and arranged for me topick up my gear from the shop on the way. A quick visit tothe powder room was necessary to gather my thoughts - I wasgiddy with excitement and drunk but not with champagne.What was I to do! One of the girls then came in to thepowder room. She reassured me that Alex was decent and hadintegrity. In fact, a trip back to his place was on thelist of fantasies for most girls in the joint!With that I left with Alex, his arm around my.
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